Thursday, February 27, 2014

90 Day Fiance

So there is a new show called "90 Day Fiance" that portrays couples that went through the same process that Larissa and I went through. You can watch full episodes here:

The rest of the episodes I had a hard time finding. But if you want to pay to watch them for 1.99 an episode you can go here:

All You Tube Episodes

There were aspects of the show that reminded me a lot about how it was when Larissa first came to America.

First of all, when you bring someone from another country to America, people of course have their judgments and perceptions of why that person in coming to marry an american citizen, where getting into the country is highly desired. I know I felt certain vibes come off of some people that I know that were suspicious of the fact that since I was bringing a Brazilian (who is very beautiful) the same thing. There are always going to be people who think that the girls, or possibly even guys, are targeting people to get an American visa or citizenship. Especially when the girl looks like she would be way too attractive to fall in love with someone who would not be considered nearly as attractive. The people in the show all seemed to get that judgment. There is that conception of "Mail Order Bride" when it comes to these things. But even so, you can get a pretty good idea of which couples actually like each other and want to be with each other.

I just want to say, that if the relationship truly is real, and feels real to BOTH parties, this process is a beautiful thing. I can only speak for myself, and it is up to other people to judge for themselves how they feel about my relationship. But having a significant other from a completely different culture has been such an adventure. The bureaucracy sucks most of all, it really does, and A lot of people have such a hard time getting though it, because it is a lot to handle, it requires a lot of money and patience. Some people just can not overcome what seems like endless obstacles.

We have been married for four years now and every struggle was worth it. From applying for the K-1 Visa, the AOS process, the deployments, the demands of my job in general, being away from family, having to move around, culture barriers, and the periods of long distance. I can look back and at all the craziness and the roller coaster ride I have been going through had not only been amazing and interesting, but very unique. It is definitely not the traditional american way of marriage that most people go though. It is a much longer, patient process. It takes strength, and if you prove you have that strength, than its a good base for a relationship to last.

So to me the show was interesting, although its a reality show and not all aspects are exactly real. The people in the show did still go through the process. Kiralam in the show, who was with Allan, is from a small city just like my wife, and she left her family to do the same thing my wife did. Larissa went through all the emotions that Kiralam did; being alone at home without her family always being around. She was very innocent in the show, and very attached to her mom. This couple reminded me the most of my situation besides the age difference.

Alan and Kirlyam from 90 Day Fiance

So I just think there is two sides of this 90 Day Fiance situation that I hope people understand. There is always people with bad intentions, but some people find love in far away places. Usually there are enough red flags to show what someones real intentions are. But I really hope that the couples who do find love in far away places, have an amazing life and adventure!

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